I’ve struggled with you for years, since 2012. Nobody knows how you make me feel. It took me ages to figure out what I was feeling, and took me years to finally open up about it, you’ve made my life a living hell. Thanks.
Every time I feel like going out, you pop into my head and stop me from going out, making me overthink every situation, and making me think the bad of every situation. You stop me from going out, you stop me from making friends, you stopped me from working at a job I did once enjoy, but you stopped me enjoying it, and made me quit.
Anxiety, you’re in my head, every minute of my life. Even at this moment of writing this, you’ve made me cry so much whilst writing this. I didn’t ask to have all this anxiety going on inside of me, so why has it happened, why me? I never chose you, so why do you think you should of chose to ruin my life?
I’ve had awful experiences trying to socialise because of you, you’ve made me cry so much in public, you’ve made me have panic attacks in public, and you’ve made me avoid every social situation possible this last month. I’ve even stopped eating completely for a few days at a time just because you make me lose my appetite completely. You even tried your best to ruin the best day of 2016, when I went to my first concert ever, you made me have three panic attacks on the train. But I stopped you.
You’ve made me the person I am now. I have finally asked for help and i’m going to stop you ruling my life forever. It was a battle to even get to the point of going to my doctor, but that battle has made me a stronger person, so thanks for that.
I also found a band because of you, a band that makes me chill out whenever I need to, all I do is just listen to my favourite songs by them, I’m really appreciative of that because they are now my favourite band ever, and I have seen them live.
I will not let you defeat me. I will always win.