I was truly scared to even think about medication. All I heard on the internet, when I stupidly searched up, was side effects and the first few weeks being on them absolute hell. From the day that my therapist said she would tell my doctor that she thinks I’d benefit from being on medication, was the start of me worrying every single day about being on them, I kept thinking to myself “what if I get so many side effects” “what if I get addicted” “what if they don’t work?” At the same time of worrying, I had never ever swallowed a proper tablet, everything I have had previously was either liquid form or disgusting soluble tablets which are honestly the worst tasting things ever.
I’ve always been somewhat scared of taking medication for my mental health, solely down to me not really knowing much about it, and just the stigma around antidepressants. It was extremely hard for me to even say yes to trying medication. Some of my friends on twitter persuaded me to try them because my mental health is worse than the side effects, so there’s nothing really to lose. What also made it harder for me to start medication, is people’s attitude towards them, even a few of my family members.
I took a bit of persuasion from my doctor also, as we both just spoke about the side effects, and how bad my mental health is currently, especially after the relapse, and we both decided that it’s probably best for me to try anti-depressants, and she said with me having CBT, being on medication may even help the therapy to work better, which is something I have never really even thought about!
The stigma around medication for mental health is massive. Everyone assumes you’re weak for taking antidepressants, and others think they are highly addictive and near impossible to come off. That is false, it’s extremely hard for someone to take medication for mental health, it’s not a sign of weakness what so ever, it’s a sign of them wanting to get better, and wanting to beat their problems. Nobody says anything if you take tablets for a physical health problem, so why do people have such a poor attitude towards medication for a mental health problem?
As I’m writing this post, I’m on my 5th day of Fluoxetine. The side effects were a bit bad, but not half as bad as what I read and hear, I’ve coped with them, though and the horrible thoughts are just a bit more prominent, which I’m trying to distract myself from. Saying yes to medication is the first step in my recovery, hopefully, in a few months if all goes planned. I will still be doing CBT (or even may have finished it!) and managing my mental health so much better than I am doing now.
As always, thanks for reading.